NEWS: How To Master Cybersex, 90’s Style

Remember the days before Snapchat, sexting, and well, Niteflirt, when horny internet patrons had to visit chatrooms to get their freak on? Or when they had to wait for the titillating voice of AOL to announce “You’ve got mail” to get the next raunchy installment of their hot internet trysts? If not, this hilarious video on Found Footage Fest of a 1997 cybersex master will tell you everything you need to know about vintage online fucking.

In the video she promises to teach you how to “reach a cybersex climax.” Her topless tutorial (complete with 90’s jeans) is all about how to master the art of “one handed typing.” In her demonstration, she types—very slowly, on a giant computer—to an eager online partner. She says, “I’m very horny and am looking for some good… (wait for it, there’s at least a ten second delay on her ancient Macintosh) cybersex; are you interested?” The reply: “Yeeesssssss.” Classic.

This bit of 90’s nostalgia makes us so thankful for updated technology. What would we do if we couldn’t make horny online connections in so much faster, hotter, and more interactive ways? Want to meet up for some sexy fun? We’re just a click away.

Check out the video here (the VHS was found at a Michigan thrift store): https://www.foundfootagefest.com/

 

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