6 Sex Toys That You’ll Want To Be Your Valentine

naked beautiful bodyWhile chocolates and flowers are nice, a good sex toy is really the only thing you need this Valentine’s Day. Why not indulge with some self-love? From dildos to prostate massagers, these sex toys will make you forget all about bae.

  1. Power Play 7 Function G-Spot Vibrator
    This vibrator never disappoints in hitting your spot—something a Valentine might not be able to do! It has three different vibe speeds and four different patterns to keep things exciting.
  2. Velvet Touch Intense Vibrations Silicone Rabbit
    This modern Rabbit has everything you love about the original, but its sleek design is updated for the twenty-first century. It has 12 different settings, is rechargeable, waterproof, and, of course, has those cute little bunny ears for maximum clit stimulation.
  3. Bondara Master B Vibrating Male Masturbator
    Guys, if you don’t have a date for V-Day, this is what you need. There’s three different versions, which simulate oral sex, vaginal sex, and anal sex. The bonus is that these ones vibrate too!
  4. King Cock 7 Inch Dildo Flesh
    Who doesn’t want a realistic 7-inch dildo for Valentine’s? This waterproof dick is latex free and strap-on compatible.
  5. TENGA ONACUP: Deep Throat
    This is the ultimate toy for male masturbation: it creates a sucking sensation, so you can actually give yourself a blowjob!
  6. Porator Anal Vibrator
    This prostate massager has four settings to get your anal rocks off while masturbating.

Looking for some good, good lovin’ this Valentine’s? Come indulge right here!

Check out more of the sex toys that you’ll want this Valentine’s Day: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/cheaper-than-a-date

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Erotic Carp Calendar Makes Perfect Valentine Gift 

maxresdefaultAre you looking for a Valentine gift for that certain special guy? Do they love fishing and attractive nude women? Well, then we have the perfect gift for you: an erotic carp calendar!

The German company Hendrik Pöhler publishes its Carponizer calendar each year, featuring photos of nude women posing seductively with fish. Here’s a description of the thrilling calendar, as translated from German to English: “Twelve magnificent carp will be presented in 2017 with no less than twelve attractive women according to the theme. The erotic moments are set aesthetically and artistically in the carp calendar 2017 and give the angler a special charm.” Indeed, the photos are a magnificent sight to behold for any “passionate angler and fish lover”—and lucky for you, the calendar is available for purchase on Amazon.

Looking for something erotic this Valentine’s Day? Let’s go fishing!

Check out more about the erotic carp calendar here: http://jezebel.com/i-yet-again-was-not-asked-to-model-for-this-erotic-carp-1790330750

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Italian Novelist Wins ‘Bad Sex In Fiction Award’ For Most Cringeworthy Scene Ever 

cosmic_banditaThe winner of the Bad Sex In Fiction Award has been named—and it is especially cringeworthy. Hosted by the Literary Review, the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award is presented to the writer of an otherwise acclaimed work for “the most egregious passage of sexual description in a work of fiction.” Earlier in the month, the shortlist was announced and the well-known writers included Gayle Forman, Ethan Canin, Robert Seethaler, Tom Connolly, Janet Ellis, and Erri De Luca. Jonathan Safran Foer received an honorable mention for a masturbation scene that compared cumming to a climber determined to summit Mt. Everest.

The winner, esteemed Italian writer and winner of such prestigious awards as 2013 European Prize for Literature, Erri De Luca, beat out his competitors with the dreadful sex writing in his novel, The Day Before Happiness. The writing includes descriptions of the couple’s genitals as ‘ballet dancers hovering en pointe.’ It also includes such gems as ‘My body was her gearstick’ and ‘My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach.’ Wow. That is some truly awful sex writing, signore.

Looking for some good eroticism that won’t make you cringe? Come steer your gearshift our way, tiny dancer!

Check out more about the winner of the 2016 Bad Sex In Fiction Award here: https://www.bustle.com/articles/197909-this-italian-novelist-just-won-the-bad-sex-in-fiction-award-for-writing-the-most-cringeworthy

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10 Sex Confessions That Will Make You Squirm With Embarrassment 

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 3.23.26 PMThe good folks on Whisper are proof that sometimes sex can be super embarrassing. From yelling out the wrong thing to bodily mishaps, everyone has an awkward sex story. But you can be thankful that these ones will probably put yours to shame. Here are 10 truly cringeworthy sex confessions.

  1. Once during sex, as I was climaxing, I shouted ‘That’s finger-licking good!’”
    Sounds like someone was craving something sweet, sticky, and delicious!
  2. One time I accidentally started singing the Pokemon theme song during sex. My girlfriend thankfully went with it.”
    Naughty, naughty Pokemon!
  3. Tonight in the middle of having sex my husband lost all interest and just got up to go play video games.”
    Grounds for divorce?
  4. Was in the middle of having sex and I literally lost my boner due to her high pitched moans.”
    Danger: sex might cause irreversible ear damage.
  5. One time I was so drunk I was meowing during sex.”
    Bad kitty!
  6. Once during sex I accidentally shouted out my teacher’s name. That was awkward.”
    Hot for teacher?
  7. Once I made a girl recite the Pledge of Allegiance while having sex with me…”
    Talk about patriotism!
  8. One time I let a girl choke me during sex. I passed out. She stole my watch.”
    When getting rough goes wrong…
  9. One time I bit a guy during sex and he said he didn’t like it rough. I told him to go home.”
    Another one bites the dust.
  10. My roommate walked into my room while I was having sex with my girlfriend and said ‘player 3 has joined the game.’”
    Wonder if that ever works…?

Looking for something naughty yourself? We can make you meow with pleasure right here!

Check out more embarrassing sex confessions: https://www.bustle.com/articles/197221-20-people-share-the-most-embarrassing-things-that-happened-during-sex

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Scientists Discover Surprising Truth About Boob Preference 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_brasBoobs: guys love them. And recently, a team of European scientists received funding to study the everlasting male obsession with female breasts. In a report aptly titled “Men’s preferences for women’s breast size and shape in four cultures,” published in the Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior, a team of researchers (both male and female) report that it might be shape, not size, that appeals to men when appraising a breast’s attractiveness.

The study also found that, surprisingly, bigger isn’t necessarily better—it seems firmness is the most important quality for men, which is why shape is so essential. Scientists think the research might shine light on the evolutionary reason why men are so infatuated with boobs, since breast shape can give important clues about a woman’s fertility. So, there you have it: since the dawn of man, dudes have admired boobs.

Looking to indulge your obsession? We’ve got everything you might be hankering for right here!

Check out more about the boob preference study: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/inverse/breast-obsessed-scientist_b_13462238.html

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11 Hilarious Tweets About Condoms 

condomsThe funny folks on Twitter have some astute observations to offer about condoms in 140 characters or less. Some of these tweets will having you nodding sympathetically while others will have you slapping your thigh with laughter. Here are the 11 funniest tweets about condoms to help you “wrap up” your day with a good laugh.

  1. “Dear, why are there broken condoms on our couch?”
    “Bob… Would you please call our children by their names.”

    Ouch!
  2. Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.”
    Warning: condoms do not protect against getting hit by a bus.
  3. I always try to put some condom wrappers in my garbage so the raccoons that go through my trash think I’m cool.”
    But honestly, raccoons are the coolest.
  4. Fun fact: Taking a box of condoms to the pharmacist’s window and asking for the fitting room will get you thrown out of Target.”
    But at least you’ll get a good story!
  5. I’d like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please.”
    “Sir, that is a sleeping bag”
    *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*

    Creepy!
  6. DATE: This place is so fancy
    ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before?
    DATE: Well, only when we didn’t have a condom

    *wipes tear from eye.*
  7. Seems like Hello Kitty should be a brand of condoms.”
    Or a sex toy!
  8. I bet homophobic guys get reincarnated into condoms.”
    Karma…
  9. [handing out condoms to trick or treaters] give these to your parents, I don’t want more of you coming back next year.”
    [Trick or treaters generously hand out eggs in response].
  10. I’m so committed to pizza that I’ve stopped wearing a condom when I eat it.”
    Now that is a serious pizza lover!
  11. Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they’re already in tiny little bags!”
    Brilliant!

Looking to add a little levity to your day? Come have some raunchy fun with us!

Check out more hilarious condom tweets here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/benhenry/sir-thats-a-sleeping-bag

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This 3D-Printed Scrotum Sculpture Lets You Go Balls To the Wall

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_steelballsDo you love art and balls? If so, we’ve got the perfect Indiegogo campaign for you! Brian Sloan, the person who brought you the Most Beautiful Anus and Balls Contest, is now funding his latest sex-centric endeavor, “Wall Balls.” The Daily Dotexplains, “The product is a wall-mountable (lol) fiberglass sculpture of a scrotum emerging from the front of someone’s fly. It weighs six pounds, and can be yours for $59.”

According to Sloan, the campaign will “bring to life” the 3D-printed scrotum of the Balls Contest’s third place winner. Sadly, it seems the first and second place winners do not live in places willing to let them use 3D machines to print balls. Sloan needs 100 orders to bring Wall Balls to life, which he says is for people “who love art” or “are awesome.” Or, apparently, can’t get a 3D-printing company to scan their own scrotums.

Looking to get “balls to the wall” yourself? Come get creative right here!

Check out more about the 3D-printed scrotum sculpture on Indiegogo: http://www.dailydot.com/irl/3d-printed-scrotum/

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Erotic Murals of Pompeii’s Brothel Showcase Sex Lives of Ancient Romans

volcanoPompeii is well known for being one of several ancient Roman metropolises preserved by the eruption of Vesuvius, a catastrophic volcano in the year 79. What it’s less famous for is its history as a highly sexual culture. The buried city is literally covered with carvings of phalluses—including a bronze chandelier that depicts a flying dick and a mural of Mercury with a massive erection!

And now, new images of an excavated brothel are giving even more clues about the randy shenanigans of the naughty Pompeiians. Historians think the sex acts depicted on the walls of the brothel called “Lupanar of Pompeii” were advertisements to potential clients. They include images of same-sex and opposite-sex couples, since the prostitutes were both men and women. The brothel, which was five stories high and equipped with a balcony where sex workers called down to potential customers in the street, is the only one known in the city. If you can’t get to Pompeii to see the remains of Lupanar in person, tune in to CBC’s The Nature of Things to take a tour through the notorious brothel.

Looking to get into some wild shenanigans yourself? Come get naughty right here!

Check out more about the erotic murals of a Pompeii brothel: http://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/murals-pompeiis-brothel-showcase-sex-lives-ancient-romans/

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Study Reveals Ideal Number of Previous Sexual Partners For Men and Women

sexy-librarianIf you’ve ever wondered what the optimal “golden number” is for notches on your bedpost, a new study has the answer. Published in the Journal of Sex Research, the study asked participants to rank a potential sexual partner’s attractiveness based on how many sexual partners they had in the past. And according to the survey of 188 heterosexual participants on Facebook, the number’s a lot lower than you may think.

For one-night stands, the optimal number was between 2 to 6, with women slightly more forgiving towards men’s previous flings. But when it came to long-term relationships, both sexes were reluctant to get involved with someone with more than around 2 to 3 previous sexual partners. As one researcher of the study noted, “contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history.” While we’re all about equality of the sexes, we have this to say to both men and women: lighten up; it’s only a number.

Want to add another notch to your bedpost? We say the more the merrier!

Check out more about the study that reveals the ideal number of previous sexual partners: http://www.iflscience.com/brain/what-is-the-ideal-golden-number-of-previous-sexual-partners-for-men-and-women/

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8 Life-Changing Sex Toys To Try In 2017

Images Source: Primal HardwereWhile everyone has a favorite sexual companion in their nightstand, why not try something new this year? According to Amazon users, these naughty products will keep you coming back again and again. Here are 8 sex toys that will change your sex life in exciting new ways (get details in the BuzzFeed link below).

  1. A vibrating cock ringIf the reviews are true, this vibrating cock ring will give you a real good buzz: “Amazing ring! I’ve tried many and this one is just the right size and shape to get the job done. Most of the sub-par rings don’t reach my anatomy during intercourse and this one hits the spot! Love the little nubs on it also. Good quality and well made product!” —Review Girl
  2. A glass dildo for G-spot stimulationAt only $19.95, this amazing toy will make your G-spot and your wallet very happy. It gets a 5/5 rating on Amazon.
  3. Silicon-based lubeSliquid Silver lube will keep things nice and slippery. One reviewer said they had no problem staying lubricated “for long duration of time, including one 24-hour plug session.” Now that’s an endorsement!
  4. A butt plug kit to ease you into anal play Naughty Plug Silicone Anal Trainer Kit is great for those who want to ease on in to ass play. One reviewer  says, “The smallest size is not intimidating at all. Comfortable, smooth, and they stay in well.”
  5. A soft and spicy floggerIt gets a 4.8/5 rating because, as Anthony R. says, “Great weight and balance. Can deliver a wide variety of strikes to suit your style of play.”
  6. A sex swingThis exciting product is promising to take your sex game to new heights. It has firm handles for optimal support and adjustable leg straps for deep penetration.
  7. An egg vibe your partner gets to controlThere’s something very exciting about giving control over to someone else. A reviewer boasts, “the multiple vibration patterns and speeds are great. It’s fun to use.”
  8. Soft restraintsThis product is naughty and comfy: “The straps that go around your arms and legs are soft and don’t dig into your skin, which is nice.”

Want to find something new and exciting this year? Come get naughty with us!

Check out more life-changing sex toys to make 2017 the most exciting year ever here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/norawhelan/recommended-sex-toys

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