We’ve all probably been in a situation where someone we’re having sex with has said something less than sexy in bed. And while sex definitely does make you say some weird stuff, these real confessions about cringe-worthy dirty talk will have you, well, cringing with empathy. Here are 11 of the weirdest things people have said during sex.
- “You have the softest pubic hair I have ever felt.”
Um, thanks? - “I was giving him a blowjob and right before he finished, he said ‘God it’s like you took your teeth out.’”
There’s a fetish for everything… - “I’m marinating in your juices.”
Kinda like a piece of steak? - “Just as we get into it, he leans in and whispers, ‘Is this your first time?’ It definitely wasn’t. It was our second time that week.”
Maybe he has amnesia? That or an amnesia (or virgin!) fetish. - “I’m not sure if he was trying to say ‘I love you’ or ‘OH GOD’…but he ended up yelling ‘I LOVE YOU GOD!’ when he came. The best part was hearing my roommate hysterically laughing on the other side of the wall.”
Praise the lord, that’s some good lovin’! - “He took out his junk and tapped it against my pubic bone and said ‘knock knock…’”
We suppose the appropriate response here is, “Cum in!” - “I can’t wait to show this to the next girl.”
A very apt pupil. - My ex boyfriend looked at me midway through a solid makeout sesh and said ‘I can’t wait to insert my appendages into your orifices.’”
Sexy and romantic! - “Your vagina is like the Rainforest Cafe.”
So, it’s shady and offers over-priced sandwiches? - “My boyfriend and I were having sex, he said ‘Oh, your pH is so good.’ The next day I asked him about it and he answered, ‘Ohhh! I was pretending my dick was a pH tester and I was dipping in and getting the sample.’”
Uh huh…. - “Sex is like a warm grilled cheese.”
Gooey and delicious!
Looking for something even better than grilled cheese sandwiches and the Rainforest Cafe? We can make you cry out to a higher power right here!
Check out more cringe-worthy things people have said during sex here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/
@NiteFlirt