Miss Universe Dumps Tim Tebow Because He Won’t Fuck

CulpoTebowOlivia Culpo, former winner of Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, reportedly dumped Tim Tebow because he refused to fuck her. Tebow is committed to a chastity pledge that requires him to abstain from any sort of hanky-panky until marriage. Sources say that Tebow was completely smitten with Culpo, and would send her “love letters and cute notes professing his love for her.” But unfortunately, a cute note does not an orgasm make, and eventually, Culpo got tired of all the cold showers and long runs.

Once Culpo realized Tebow was not going to budge from his strict no fucking pledge, she had to bail because, as an anonymous source explained in The New York Daily Mail, “she just couldn’t handle it.” Culpo probably thought she could change Tebow’s mind because she was successful in taking the V-card of another well-known purity pledger: Nick Jonas. Her ex wore a purity ring when they first started dating, but after a year, the ring was off and his virginity was a thing of the past. He was even upfront about boning Culpo: when Wendy Williams asked him about it, he responded, “As I said, I’m an adult in all ways.”

In the mood for getting a little naughty yourself? You don’t need to take a pledge or wear a ring to have some fun with us!

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