If polyamory seems hard, that’s because it is. Polyamorous couples often have partners in other polyamorous relationships, and those partners have other relationships, and so on. So how do polyamorous couples juggle their time, deal with the inevitable jealousy, and all the other difficult factors that go into dating multiple people? Here’s how to do polyamory, successfully, according to those who know:
- There’s no such thing as TMI
It’s all about communication. Being transparent is the best way to defuse the jealousy: checking in, tell-alls, daily texts. This is the key to avoiding envy. - Be a planner
According to one long-term polyamorous couple, Google calendar is a godsend. Since there’s so many people involved, this is an indispensable tool where everyone can log and view plans, dates, and vacations up to a year in advance. “Time is the most valuable resource within a poly relationship.” - Accept your jealousy and grow from it
“There’s a growth opportunity in being able to see your partner in love with someone else.” Instead of letting the jealousy overwhelm you, think of it as an opportunity for growth. - Get to know your lovers’ lovers
This is also key for managing jealousy. “The tendency is to build things up in your head. ‘I haven’t met you, so you must be way cuter, younger, smarter, sexier.’ It helps alleviate a lot of concerns if you get face to face.” - Never force it
Starting a monogamous relationship with someone you hope will be into polyamory later on is a recipe for disaster.
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Check out more tips on how to do polyamory successfully here: https://www.pdxmonthly.com/
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