Sometimes, when you’re right in the middle of getting your sext on, foibles can happen that might, well, ruin the mood. Autocorrect failures, erotic messages lost in translation, and yes, even those dreaded, WTF, boner-killing come-ons. So here we present for your amusement and pleasure the most ridiculous, hilarious, and horrifying sexts ever:
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“I know I’m not the most handsome guy, but I bet I’d look a lot better with your pussy juice all over my face.”Did that one actually work? If so, bravo.
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“I want to massage every square part of your body.”Square parts? Nobody wants to see anyone else’s square parts, whatever those are.
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“I can’t wait to see you later and mash my crotch against your face.”That just sounds scary. And dangerous.
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Post-masturbation pic with caption: “Cloudy with a chance of rain.”Hello, this is your local weatherman bringing you the latest update: looks like cloudy with a chance of DEAR LORD MY BONER’S GONE.
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Her: “Does my pussy taste good? Is it the best you’ve ever tasted?”Him: “Tastes like chicken.”Colonel Sanders, is that you?
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“I just need it! It’s like I’m a diabetic and there’s insulin in your ass and I have to get it with my tongue!”Sexting red alert! This is a medical emergency!
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“Love to bend you over an airport bench and fuck your brains out.”Hm, never thought of that before when fantasizing about sex in public…
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Her: “Morning.”Him: “Is it bad sometimes I feel like I have a big dick to make up for how fucked up everything else is.”Well, at least he’s grateful for what he’s got?
Wow, those were truly awful—and also completely amazing! Want to have some naughty fun with us? We promise not to mash anything against your face or ask you to massage our square parts!
Check out more hilarious sexts here or share with us your worst sexts by joining our conversation @NiteFlirt on Twitter!
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