NFNEWS: Fleshlight Launchpad

There are many many porn enthusiasts out there. And just as many sex toy enthusiasts. So what if we told you that there’s now a way to marry your love of porn with your love of sex toys, in a more interactive way than just getting off with both? The makers of the popular men’s sex toy, Fleshlight, have just figured out a way to do just that.best_phone_sex_niteflirt_fleshlight_launchpad

Introducing the Fleshlight Launchpad, the sex toy that clicks in to your Ipad, allowing you to literally fuck the porn you’re watching on the screen. It looks like a flashlight, with a soft, pussy-like sleeve to slip your cock in. Then just click it in to your tablet, slip your dick securely in, and enjoy whatever you’re watching. It only costs $24.95, and it’s also great for fucking your partner long-distance, since you can use the camera on your Ipad to watch each other get down and dirty.

Looking for some sexy, interactive fun? We are always game for some naughty play!

 

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NEWS: Woman Plays Symphony With Breasts

The woman in the video steps in front of the camera wearing a man’s gray coat and an androgynous silk scarf. She has funky short silver hair with purple streaks. She is expressionless, and looks extremely serious and focused. Then she removes her oversized coat and scarf to reveal big beautiful tits barely covered with a mini string bikini, and many tattoos. She crosses her arms, and the symphony begins.

What comes next is simply hypnotic—and hot! She flexes her ample breasts perfectly in time to Mozart’s “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik” (you really have to see it to believe it)! Sara X is a model, blogger, and “tall, tattooed weirdo with an offbeat sense of humor.” She says the video isn’t “fake or a trick, but my boobs are…no strings attached just plenty of silicone.” Those are some truly gifted fake boobs!

In the mood to make some beautiful music with us? Our talents in bed rival Mozart’s on piano!

 

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NEWS: Porn Actress Rebecca More’s UK Sex Tour

In what’s being dubbed the “X Factor of Sex,” thousands of horny porn fans are entering a contest to #DoRebecca, in which the lucky winners will get the chance to, well, “do” Rebecca More in a van for her sex tour. The busty porn star who goes by “UK MILF” is cruising the British countyside for her reality tour, picking up dozens of strangers in her van and fucking them in the back of it. More is filming the sex marathon for Television X, the popular UK adult film network known for its Downton Abbey porn spoof, Down on Abbey.best_phone_sex_niteflirt_rebecca_more

Anyone can apply to the contest or follow her on Twitter for hot, naughty updates about her sex tour. And an adult entertainment representative said, “Whether you are a builder, butcher, student, office worker, sex mad sports men or a layabout, it doesn’t matter, all you need to do is apply and you can Do Rebecca.” While politicians are scandalized by the porn star getting x-rated in their towns, the 20 locals who have had the chance to fuck Rebecca in her van have all said they greatly enjoyed the experience. A man who goes by the nickname “King Body Art” and claims to have the most tattoos in England, fucked Rebecca on top of the van and tweeted that it was “a fun day.” And pro rugby player Greg Jacob said it was “just a bit of fun.”

Want to go on a wild ride with us? We don’t have a sex van, but we’re confident we can take you on a fun and exciting adventure!

 

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NEWS: Couple Fucking in the Ocean Gets Stuck Together

Oh, the pleasures of spontaneous sex in risky places. Many horny couples have enjoyed the thrills and slight danger of joining the mile high club, fucking outdoors, and, of course, what could be sexier than fucking in the ocean as rhythmic, undulating waves lap two humping bodies? But few consider other risks than getting caught (or arrested) when deciding to go at it in public, and one frisky couple who fucked at a mostly empty beach off the Italian coast could never have guessed what the consequences would be. best_phone_sex_niteflirt_mermaids

The two found themselves “stuck together” mid-fuck, apparently because of the suction of the water. They had to drag their entwined bodies out of the water and up to the shore where they flagged down a woman for help. The sympathetic woman covered them with a towel (awkward much?) and brought back a doctor to un-stick them. But when the doctor couldn’t separate them, they needed to be brought to the emergency room where the woman was given an injection used for pregnant women to dilate their uterus, and voila, the key finally slipped out of the lock!

Talk about hardcore sex; that is some dangerous fucking! In the mood for some hot, risky fun? We promise all the fun and excitement you can handle!

 

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NEWS: 2014 Bad Sex in Fiction Awards

The Bad Sex in Fiction Awards, which has been a thing for the past two decades, proves that even good writers can write some truly terrible sex scenes. The notorious award, presented by the Literary Review, says its aim is to “draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction…” And you will seriously not believe how bad the passages are, and, ironically, how great the writers: the nominees this year include a Pulitzer prize winner, this year’s Man Booker Prize winner, and a recurring favorite for the Nobel Prize! Here are some highlights from the prize that every prose writer dreads: best_phone_sex_niteflirt_contracts

  1. Desert God by Wilbur Smith
    “Her body was hairless. Her pudenda were also entirely devoid of hair. The tips of her inner lips protruded shyly from the vertical cleft. The sweet dew of feminine arousal glistened upon them.”
  2. DD-MM-YY’ in Things to Make and Break by May-Lan Tan
    “When I’m about to come, I flip her onto her back and take off her underwear. I roll her nipple on my tongue and rub her clit with my thumb until her lips get slippery. I glide my middle finger in and out, then fold her legs up and push in. God. It’s like sticking your cock into the sun.”
  3. The Hormone Factory by Saskia Goldschmidt
    “I unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down past my hips, and my beast, finally released from its cage, sprang up wildly. I started inching my way back up, continuing to stimulate her manually, until the beast found its way in…she was as hot as boiling water in a distillation flask…”
  4. Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami (!)
    “Their pubic hair was as wet as a rain forest. Their breath mingled with his, becoming one, like currents from far away, secretly overlapping at the dark bottom of the sea….These insistent caresses continued until Tsukuru was inside the vagina of one of the girls. It was Shiro. She straddled him, took hold of his rigid, erect penis, and deftly guided it inside her. His penis found its way with no resistance, as if swallowed up into an airless vacuum.”

And we’ll leave you with this gem from The Lemon Grove by Helen Walsh: “Then he steps into her, furious. And when it hits her, it slams her hard and fast, as life once had.”

Wow. That is some truly awfully written sex. I think we can probably do better than that—want us to talk dirty to you? We promise that you’ll “became aware of places in [you] that could only have been concealed there by a god with a sense of humour.” Whatever that means.

 

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NEWS: International Clitoris Awareness Week

Clitoris Awareness Week is a 7-day celebration organized by the non-profit, Clitoraid, which seeks to pay homage to “a magnificent organ” in order to “give it the attention it deserves.” Amen to that! The group’s reasoning is that whenever there’s an “awareness day,” it makes subjects such as loving the clit easier for people to talk about. best_phone_sex_niteflirt_bedposted

Some people are really getting into the spirit: in Chicago, one Clitoraid follower walked around the city in a giant suit that looked like a pussy! And in Miami, members will create a big, beautiful pussy sand-castle right on South Beach. Coincidentally, Clit Awareness Week falls in the same month as National Masturbation Day. How appropriate: self-love should never get shafted, but at least we have a whole month to celebrate!

Here at Niteflirt, we think every day should be a celebration of the clit! Want to help us get into the spirit? We know we could use a helping hand!

 

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NEWS: The 50 Best Full-Frontal Cocks in Film, Ranked

To soften the crushing disappointment of learning that Christian Grey will not be taking his clothes off in the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie, Jezebel compiled a thorough list of the 50 best male crotch-shots in film. These hot dudes baring it all on camera will surely brighten your day, and as Jezebel promises, “make your mood rise.” Here are some highlights from the list (see the full list below):

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_cocks_on_film

  1. Michael Pitt, The Dreamers (ranked #7)
    Here is an up close and personal shot of one very nice cock. In the still, a hot lady is admiring it on her knees (gee, wonder what’s gonna happen next?)
  2. Joe Mangienello, Magic Mike (ranked #8)
    Of course this list would not be complete (or credible) without some dick from the infamous male stripper film, Magic Mike. In this still, he is painted in golden, shimmery body paint, reminiscent of a greek god, with a fully hard cock poking out from his golden lycra thong.
  3. Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain (ranked #12)
    And again, if you’re going to have a list like this, you would need to include some sexy cowboy cock from this famous, formative gay film.
  4. Jake Gyllenhaal, Jarhead (ranked #14)
    Here, Gyllenhaal is dancing hard with just a Santa Claus hat covering his hard cock. Ho ho ho! Here’s one way to have a very merry holiday!
  5. Sacha Baron Cohen, Bruno (ranked #18)
    One of our personal favorites, in this epic scene from Bruno, Sacha Baron Cohen and friends sport full lycra body suits complete with giant dildos!
  6. Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike (ranked #21)
    That’s right, this giant star went full frontal in a scene that has his chiseled body covered in bronzer with his massive, gorgeous cock standing out (and up!) in metallic paint.
  7. Kevin Bacon, Wild Things (ranked #26)
    In our humble opinion, this should be in the top 5.
  8. Mark Wahlberg’s Prosthesis, Boogie Nights (ranked #33)
    Who can forget the fake dick in Boogie Nights? You wait the whole movie for its unveiling, and when it happens, it does not disappoint (except for, you know, it’s not Mark Wahlberg’s).
  9. Stephen Dorff, Innocent Lies (ranked #38)
    In this scene, a hot naked sex pot is bent over a chair, looking very eager for Stephen Dorff to put his beautiful, big dick inside her from behind. Who could blame her?
  10. Jason Biggs, American Reunion (ranked #45)
    Here, Jason Biggs has his cock and balls pressed up against a glass pot lid in which he is trying to fuck.

Those were epic! All that hot cock on film really put us in the mood for some action—lights, camera, we’re ready when you are!

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NEWS: Porn Stars Explain Net Neutrality

Net neutrality can be a bit confusing, so Funny or Die recruited three porn stars to break down the issue in a funny, sexy way. Basically, it comes down to one very important point: without net neutrality internet providers can slow down your internet unless you pay more, which means slower porn. It’s true—if it was up to ISP giants like Comcast, the porn you’re streaming could get throttled unless you pay for faster speeds. They could even force porn websites to shell out big bucks to make their packets fast enough to make streaming porn possible.

One porn star quips, “You never hear anyone moaning, ‘Slower! Slower!’ when they’re fucking. Another explains that President Obama stands “hard and firm on the issue” (in her sexiest bedroom voice), because “poor people should be able to watch porn just as fast as rich people.” But, the ladies explain, Senator Ted Cruz (“who is not sexy”) is taking money from Comcast and wants to end net neutrality because “he doesn’t want me to get naked for you!” It pretty much comes down to this: “the internet is a giant sex party where anyone gets to have sex with anyone they want. Without net neutrality, that sex party is only for rich people.”

We know a faster way than streaming to have an internet sex party! Everyone who’s not Ted Cruz is invited!

 

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NEWS: Sex on the Beach, Florida Style

In an x-rated version of From Here to Eternity, a Florida couple got arrested after fucking on a beach in Tampa, in the middle of the day, in front of literally dozens of people. The dude, who looks like a body builder, and his sexy lady (wannabe porn star?), started going at it on their towel, with her on top, happily riding him hard without a care in the world…for 25 minutes! And shocked beach-goers who recorded the fuck-fest didn’t even intervene for the first go around.

That’s right: this couple got it on in plain view, on a public beach, until they decided to take a dip in the ocean—before passing out for hours and then going at it again! This time an angry woman told them to stop, while others called the police where they were (finally!) arrested for “lewd and lascivious behavior.” In the video below, it appears as if the hard-bodied dude is hand-cuffed completely bare-assed! File this story under: “Only in Florida.”

In the mood for a little mid-day action yourself? We can make you feel as good as sex on a beach!

 

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NEWS: Hallelujah! “Pussy” Can Now Be Said Uncensored on Comedy Central

Thanks to the staff on Amy Schumer’s Show, Inside Amy Schumer, you can now hear the word “pussy” bleep-free, hassle-free, and with impunity on Comedy Central. Fans of the show appreciate comedian Amy Schumer for her filthy sense of humor, and now they can fully appreciate her jokes in all their dirty glory. The show argues that saying “pussy” on network television revolutionizes television forever. Here’s the story: best_phone_sex_niteflirt_amy_schumer

Executive producer, Dan Powell, brought up this very important issue during season 2. Amy Schumer says, “Dan decided that it wasn’t fair that they bleep the word ‘pussy.’” This is because you are allowed to say “dick” on Comedy Central, which Dan considered a sexist double standard. Powell wrote a letter of complaint to the network, and they agreed to no longer censor “pussy” on air. Schumer says of this landmark moment in television history, “That was Dan’s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.” God bless America!

Want to celebrate this momentous occasion with us? We know the perfect way—three cheers for pussy-love!

 

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