The Best Emojis For When You Want Sex But Don’t Want To Use Words

SextingLooking to add a little creativity to your sexting game? Look no further than emojis, the playful, clever supplement to the usual dick or nude pic.

Here are the best emojis to let your partner know what you’re in the mood for when you’re feeling frisky—but don’t want to use words.

 

 

Anilingus: Girl, Giant Tongue, Peach

8

The peach is everyone’s favorite sexual innuendo for ass. Add in a giant tongue and a girl who looks like she’s dying for a rim job, and you’ve got the perfect emoji recipe for eating ass!

69: 6, 9, Tongue Face

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Straight to the point. 69 is a classic sex position for a reason, and this emoji sext perfectly conveys that.

Starfish: Star, Fish, Sly Smile Face

6

Again, this straightforward sext will let your partner know you are DTS (down to starfish).

 

Circle Jerk: Circle, Fist, Eggplant, Water Drops 

5

We think this emoji combo will get your message across nicely.

Titty Fucking: Coconut, Eggplant, Coconut

4

This will make anyone hungry for some sweet, sweet coconut! And eggplant!

Cunnilingus: Eager-Looking Kneeling Guy, Giant Tongue

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Bustle says, “That big tongue is a little intimidating, but there’s no denying that this guy looks perfectly positioned to perform a little oral magic.”

Scissoring: Two Dancing Girls, Scissors

2

These ladies look like they’re ready for action!

 

Feeling frisky yourself? Come show us what you’re in the mood for!

Check out more great emojis for sexting: https://www.bustle.com/articles/85579-10-best-sex-positions-as-told-in-emoji-because-sometimes-youre-just-too-lazy-to-sext

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The Strangest Things We Got Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year 

Over at Deadspin, it’s become a New Year’s tradition to catalogue all the strangest stuff Americans got stuck in their many orifices in the past year. It’s based on the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, and the 2016 list is especially unpleasant. Here are the strangest, most awkward objects America shoved into its rectum, pussy, and dick. Happy New Year!

Rectum

  1. Wine cork wrapped in paper towels, electrical tape and a condom
  2. 10 broken crayons
  3. Plastic Melatonin bottle
  4. Shot glass
  5. “Rectal fissure masturbating for her boyfriend using a hairbrush in her rectum yesterday.”
  6. Nail cuticle tool
  7. Egg timer
  8. Tub drain cup
  9. Decorative pumpkin

Pussy

  1. USB adapter
  2. “Sat on the top of a doll house and there was a spiked roof.”
  3. Pointy toy pig
  4. Small painting kit
  5. Cigarettes and lighter

Dick

  1. “Carved down piece of domino inserted domino piece into penis now wants it removed.”
  2. Sandal buckle
  3. BB
  4. Doll shoe
  5. “Had pebble stuck in penis while swimming in a lake 3 weeks ago.”
  6. Marble

Looking for a creative way to start off your New Year? Come get strange with us right here!

Check out more of the strangest objects Americans inserted into their various orifices: http://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-1790335507

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Orlando Bloom’s Dick Wins 2016 

Image Source: Helen Penjam on Flickr

Image Source: Helen Penjam on Flickr

The recent uncensored pictures of Orlando Bloom’s dick have gone viral, provoking a firestorm of memes and witty gifs. The photos were taken, unbeknownst to Bloom, during a particularly sexy Italian vacation with Katy Perry. While the pictures are another example of how the paparazzi flagrantly violates celebrity’s personal lives, Orlando Bloom’s enthusiastic willingness to let it all hang out has served as an inspiration for millions in the new year.

As Daily Beast reports, one photo of him “shows a perky, springy thing that seems kind of half standing to attention, and half giving into the heat of his Italian sojourn with Katy Perry.” In others, Bloom and his cock take a walk on the beach, clamber over rocks, or paddleboard-serenade a very happy Perry in the sparkling sunshine. Of course, gifs have emerged “showing general happy amazement at the hotness of Bloom and loveliness of his cock.” Bloom and his dick have entered the public consciousness, urging all of us to be a little more free and exhibitionist in 2017.

Looking for some sexy fun yourself? Let’s make it hot hot hot in the new year!

Check out more about Orlando Bloom’s inspiring dick here: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/08/06/thank-you-orlando-bloom-for-showing-us-that-a-dick-is-just-a-dick.html

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Pornhub Reveals What Porn the World Was Watching in 2016 

Image Source: Pornhub Insights

Image Source: Pornhub Insights

2016 was a strange year—so why should the porn we watched be any different? Pornhub recently released their annual Year in Review report for 2016, and as usual, their insights into the world’s pornographic habits was as stimulating as ever. Considering the amount of data they had to analyze—over 91,980,225,000 videos on Pornhub, or approximately 5,246 centuries worth of porn videos played—they certainly had their hands full (along with their users!).

It seems the world really loves to search for “lesbian,” “step mom” and “MILF,” with increased searches for “lesbian scissoring,” “massage” and “ebony.” Not surprisingly (albeit a bit disturbing), Pornhub witnessed a 874 percent spike in searches for Donald Trump, with searches for his daughter Tiffany up by 2,548 percent, and future First Lady Melania up by 1,538 percent. The average time spent on Pornhub was 9 minutes and 36 seconds, which is up 16 seconds from last year. Happy New Year!

Looking for something stimulating yourself? Come check us out here!

Here’s more about the world’s porn habits: http://www.iflscience.com/technology/pornhub-reveal-what-porn-the-world-was-watching-in-2016/

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10 Gifts That Are As Hilarious As They Are Sexy

Image Source: ASOS, LookHuman and Fairgoods

Image Source: ASOS, LookHuman and Fairgoods

A modern yet pervy Kama Sutra poster, Northshire on Etsy for $13
This updated Kama Sutra poster has everyone’s favorite sex positions. It’s the perfect conversation piece!

  1. 69 nestling cups, theTbird on Etsy for $19.25
    The couple that drinks tea—and 69‘s—together stays together!
  2. Naughty coloring book for grownups, SheVibe for $14.95
    “Edited by Lady Cheeky and illustrated by Alex Kotkin, all the art in the coloring book features curvy women in ~sexy scenarios~ from threesomes to BDSM play,” says BuzzFeed.
  3. Dainty hankies just waiting to be made filthy, Fair Goods for $25
    These naughty hankies are adorably embroidered with such sentiments as “Blow Me,” “Fill Me Up,” and “Make Me Moist.”
  4. Darling humping salt and pepper shakers, ASOS for $14
    Who doesn’t want cute humping rabbits flavoring their food?
  5. A booty-ful mug for all your warm beverage needs, Look Human for $14.99
    Hot butts on a mug? Yes please!
  6. Subtle floral-dick pillow, Look Human for $27.99
    This beautiful pillow seems innocent until you look closer and discover all the hidden phalluses. It’s like a beautiful optical illusion—with dicks!
  7. A saucy candle that’s meant to smell like hot, hot sex, CheekyMint on Etsy for $9.99
    This cheeky candle is aptly named “Let’s Get Naked,” and smells like fresh sheets, cologne, and hot sex!
  8. A sexy cross-stitch, FishyStitch on Etsy for $25
    Nothing makes a room cozier than with a quaint little cross-stitch proudly announcing “We Have Sex In This Room.”
  9. A sugary take on the Kama Sutra for anyone with a sweet tooth, She Bop the Shop for $10
    What better way to celebrate the Kama Sutra than with cookies? Make and eat all your favorite sex positions with these naughty cookie cutters!

Want to gift yourself with something naughty? Let’s get playful and fun!

Check out more naughty and playful gifts here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/the-naughty-list

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New Study On Penis Size Reveals Something Completely Obvious 

liar-liarA new study conducted by the World Penis Average Size Studies Database confirms what most people have long suspected: men lie about their penis size. While this information is not surprising, it does reveal some interesting findings about the discrepancy between men’s actual size and their reported size. And of course, the internet is in an uproar about the confirmed stereotype.

The study combined data from a variety of databases from an adult comparison website and found that “In ‘self-reported’ samples, men added an extra 1 centimeter (0.4 inches) to both their flaccid and erect measurements,” reported IFLScience. Interestingly, the most self-reported penis size data comes from Europe, Africa, and South America, with little info coming in from North America. “According to the statistics, South Americans have the most impressive growth factor, with a 60 percent increase between flaccid and erect, and it appears (unsurprisingly) that there’s a linear relationship between a soft and a hard penis.” We want to say to fibbing men everywhere: put that ruler away, dudes. No one’s counting.

Want to have some good natured fun? Let’s get revealing right here!

Check out more about a new study that shows men lie about their penis length on IFLscience.

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These Synthetic Life-Size Male Sex Dolls Are The Hottest New Sex Toy Around

Image Source: Sinthetics on Twitter

Image Source: Sinthetics on Twitter

Looking for a sexual partner that will do whatever you want him to—and look exactly how you want him to? Look no further than the US company Sinthetics, which manufactures life-size silicone sex dolls specifically tailored to your tastes and fantasies. The dolls are not only uncannily life-like, but they also come with interchangeable flaccid and erect penises in whatever size, shape, color, etc. you choose.

These obedient sex companions will never cheat on you, and because you can manipulate them however you want, you can endlessly indulge all your naughtiest sexual fantasies. Of course, creating the man (or slave) of your dreams comes with a hefty price-tag: male Sinthetics start at $5,900 plus shipping, and any upgrades will add to the final price tag. The company also sells female sex dolls, but the male ones with shockingly realistic details such as cut or uncut penises, varied scrotum size, pubic hair and nipples will be the hottest and coolest thing you see all day.

Want to indulge your sexual fantasies? Come get exactly what you want right here!

Check out more about shockingly realistic male sex dolls on the GailyGrind

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7 Best Sex Positions For Women, As Illustrated in Latte Art

Screenshot via Glamour Magazine Video

Screenshot via Glamour Magazine Video

You might think you’ve seen it all when it comes to latte art—but we’d be willing to bet you’ve definitely never seen women’s favorite sex positions stenciled in a latte before! The folks over at Glamour magazine asked barista Michael Breachto to use lattes to illustrate the seven best sex positions for women to achieve an orgasm. His creations are incredible—and the way the foam moves to uncannily replicate fucking is even cooler (check out the video below)!

  1. Doggy Style
    As Glamour says, “One of the best ways to stimulate your G-spot.” Woof woof!
  2. The Wheelbarrow 
    With this one, the woman lies on her back and puts her legs up onto her kneeling partner’s shoulders “for G-spot stimulation and facing your partner.” Let’s get rolling!
  3. The Lotus Position
    With your arms and legs wrapped tightly around your partner, “you’re on top and in control.”
  4. The Table Top
    Here, the woman gets fucked on a table or a desk. It’s great because “your partner is free to explore your body.”
  5. The Camel Pose
    Here, the woman is on top and arching her back so her partner can stimulate her clit. Naughty camel!
  6. The Spoon
    With this spooning position, you can “gently stimulate your G-spot.”
  7. Oral
    Glamour is right when they say, “Often a great way to achieve the Big O.” How true!

Looking for an experience that won’t disappoint? We’ve got all the hottest moves here!

Check out the video of the best sex positions for women in latte art in the video below or find your way over to HuffPost here.

 

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Uber’s New Guidelines Bans Flirting and Sex 

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_cabbiesFor the first time, Uber released new guidelines that forbid flirting and sex between drivers and passengers. It tells both riders and drivers alike, “please don’t comment on someone’s appearance or ask whether they are single. … And don’t touch or flirt with other people in the car.” The ban is an attempt to deter the unwanted sexual attention women often report about Uber drivers.

Now, according to the Uber terms, drivers and riders could get banned from the service for “asking overly personal questions, and making comments or gestures that are aggressive, sexual, discriminatory, or disrespectful.” It expressly forbids all sexual contact between drivers and passengers, even after a ride is over, “no matter what.” The anti-flirting guideline may help curb harassment and creepy situations for women, such as the incident a Boston.com reporter described where a driver offered her oral sex and locked the doors to keep her from getting out. Hey, creepy Uber dudes: harassment is not flirting—and it’s definitely not sexy.

Looking to get flirty? We are always down for some touching and flirting here!

Check out more about Uber’s new ban on flirting and sex: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/12/09/uber_now_bans_flirting_in_its_vehicles_will_that_stop_creepy_drivers.html

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Sex Advice App Shows Women Had Great Sex in 2016

best_phone_sex_niteflirt_orgasmfaceEve, a popular sex advice app for women, proves that women all over the country had great sex this year. 500,000 women tracked their sex lives, and according to the data, many women said they were very satisfied with sex in 2016. Eighty-nine percent of those who used the app to log sexual activity reported that the sex was either ‘mind blowing’ or ‘pretty good.’ Here’s other interesting findings.

Eve users living in St. Louis had more sex than women in any other city in the US. The next 10 cities where women had the most sex over the last year include Las Vegas; Detroit; Portland, Oregon; Salt Lake City; New York City; Dallas; Orlando, Florida; Wilmington, Delaware; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; and Boston. Eve also found that Aquarius women had the most sex, and that 62% talked to their partners about their sexual histories. Thanks, Eve, for letting women share all the mind blowing sex they had this year!

Want to have some mind blowing experiences yourself? Whatever your star sign, we can definitely send you over the moon!

Check out more about the sex advice app that peaked into women’s bedrooms in 2016 here: http://www.iflscience.com/technology/a-peek-into-womens-bedrooms-in-2016-according-to-a-popular-sexadvice-app/

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