7 Sex Stories That Are Both Hilarious and Cringeworthy

LetsTalkSexSometimes it’s possible for sex to be both hilarious and horrifying. And these real sex stories definitely check both boxes. Here are the most cringeworthy sex horror stories from BuzzFeed readers (check out more below).

  1. The cum stain“I was on top of my boyfriend, jerking him off. He came all over himself and we cleaned everything. That afternoon I went to my grandma’s house, and it was only when sitting all together with my family that I noticed that some of his cum had shot onto my black shirt. I then had to go run some errands with my boyfriend with a cum-stained shirt.” Lots of stares!
  2. The blizzard “We started having no-blankets-on, bare-ass-naked sex, and all of the sudden I heard a ‘WOAH guys!’My grandpa was standing in the doorway holding two Blizzards. We scurried under the blankets, he walked over, handed us the Blizzards, and left.” Thanks for the refreshments, grandpa!
  3. Vacation sex gone wrong“My (former) boyfriend and I started fooling around while we were in one of those huge two-people hammocks while on vacation in Mexico. Mid-romp, the hammock busted and I fell, shoulder first, into the tree stump under the hammock net. I spent two days in a Mexican community hospital and left Mexico with a fractured arm, no tan, and enough shame to last a lifetime.” Wah wah wah.
  4. Jaw-dropping pussy eating“I was hooking up with my brother’s friend, and he started going down on me, getting ~really~ into it. When he finally came up for air, he tried to say something but literally couldn’t speak!He couldn’t move his jaw! I had to call an ambulance and the doctor had to yank his jaw back into place.” Now that’ssome enthusiastic head!
  5. The quick clean-up“I once had sex in a changing room at the mall. When we finished, there was a *mess* on the floor. We had nothing with us to clean it up, so I hope no one bought the jacket we used on the floor.” You fuck it you bought it?
  6. The unexpected queef“Everything was hot and steamy and romantic while hooking up with my boyfriend…until I let out a huge queef on his dick. While he was inside me. It sounded like a deflated balloon.” Whoops!
  7. The Jaws (sex) scene“We were going for round two in the early morning the next day, only for him to look down and see a bunch of blood. My period had came a week early. After showering, and laying in bed, my boyfriend said, ‘It was like a shark attacked my dick!’” Nothing like a good horror movie to set the mood!

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Check out more sex horror stories: https://www.buzzfeed.com/cieravelarde/sex-horror-stories-from-horror-story-a-day

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