Newsflash: do not use kitchen appliances or other household objects as sex toys. Chances are it will end unfavorably for you.
This story makes me cringe, so naturally I had to share with all of you. According to the Huffington Post, an unidentified London gentleman is currently recovering from sticking his cock in a toaster. I know the British do things a bit differently than the USA but I was confident that we all used toasters for toast, toaster strudels, bagels, and other pastries pretty much exclusively. Clearly I was wrong.
London Firefighters bravely showed up at the scene to help the man remove his member from the toaster. Sources say that this isn’t the first time the London Firefighters have had to deal with dudes in distress. Another story involves a man who got his dick stuck in a vacuum cleaner. For some reason the vacuum cleaner doesn’t sound as bad, seems like I’ve heard that story once upon a time, but a toaster!?! Have you ever looked inside of a toaster slot? It looks like a labyrinth of barbwire, which is basically a tunnel of death for a schlong. I can only hope the poor guy has healed and will hopefully invest in one of those pulsating pussies!
@NiteFlirt