NEWS: The 50 Best Full-Frontal Cocks in Film, Ranked

To soften the crushing disappointment of learning that Christian Grey will not be taking his clothes off in the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie, Jezebel compiled a thorough list of the 50 best male crotch-shots in film. These hot dudes baring it all on camera will surely brighten your day, and as Jezebel promises, “make your mood rise.” Here are some highlights from the list (see the full list below):

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  1. Michael Pitt, The Dreamers (ranked #7)
    Here is an up close and personal shot of one very nice cock. In the still, a hot lady is admiring it on her knees (gee, wonder what’s gonna happen next?)
  2. Joe Mangienello, Magic Mike (ranked #8)
    Of course this list would not be complete (or credible) without some dick from the infamous male stripper film, Magic Mike. In this still, he is painted in golden, shimmery body paint, reminiscent of a greek god, with a fully hard cock poking out from his golden lycra thong.
  3. Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain (ranked #12)
    And again, if you’re going to have a list like this, you would need to include some sexy cowboy cock from this famous, formative gay film.
  4. Jake Gyllenhaal, Jarhead (ranked #14)
    Here, Gyllenhaal is dancing hard with just a Santa Claus hat covering his hard cock. Ho ho ho! Here’s one way to have a very merry holiday!
  5. Sacha Baron Cohen, Bruno (ranked #18)
    One of our personal favorites, in this epic scene from Bruno, Sacha Baron Cohen and friends sport full lycra body suits complete with giant dildos!
  6. Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike (ranked #21)
    That’s right, this giant star went full frontal in a scene that has his chiseled body covered in bronzer with his massive, gorgeous cock standing out (and up!) in metallic paint.
  7. Kevin Bacon, Wild Things (ranked #26)
    In our humble opinion, this should be in the top 5.
  8. Mark Wahlberg’s Prosthesis, Boogie Nights (ranked #33)
    Who can forget the fake dick in Boogie Nights? You wait the whole movie for its unveiling, and when it happens, it does not disappoint (except for, you know, it’s not Mark Wahlberg’s).
  9. Stephen Dorff, Innocent Lies (ranked #38)
    In this scene, a hot naked sex pot is bent over a chair, looking very eager for Stephen Dorff to put his beautiful, big dick inside her from behind. Who could blame her?
  10. Jason Biggs, American Reunion (ranked #45)
    Here, Jason Biggs has his cock and balls pressed up against a glass pot lid in which he is trying to fuck.

Those were epic! All that hot cock on film really put us in the mood for some action—lights, camera, we’re ready when you are!

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