There’s a lot of misconceptions about submissive women who enjoy BDSM: that they’re passive out of the bedroom, uphold traditional gender roles, or enjoy “abuse” outside of the context of being dominated during sex. But the truth is that just like any other sexual preference or fetish, submissive women find it hot to be dominated, humiliated, etc. during sex. It’s really just that simple. So many submissive women are put off by the negative stereotypes that Fifty Shades of Grey has perpetuated, namely the way “pain” and “abuse” was conflated and confused in the book and, consequently, to many women now experimenting with BDSM. 
For submissive women to have fun during intense fucking sessions that involve pain, pleasure, or both, there needs to be a lot of communication between partners—extremely different than the fictional relationship between the main characters in Fifty Shades of Grey. In other words, the relationship in Fifty Shades, while consensual and erotic, is not what a submissive woman in a relationship would consider to be a safe, comfortable situation with a partner she can trust. Submissive women in real life who indulge in BDSM largely do not carry on the dominant/submissive role outside of sexual contexts—i.e, they can be in control of their lives in every other way; they just enjoy the exhilaration and excitement of giving up control during sex. In Fifty Shades, the submissive woman character wants to tame, change, and marry her rich, dominant boyfriend, and essentially puts up with his abuse (though she does seem to enjoy it sexually too) for this reason. But in real life, submissive women understand that emotional and physical abuse that one cannot control is different from giving up power willingly and getting off on that.
Want to have some hot, BDSM fun with us? We love giving over to pleasure (and pain)!
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