Mathematicians Find Winning Formula For Male Climax

Mathematicians recently found a formula with a “happy ending.” Researchers in the United Kingdom have gone to great effort to complete a foolproof formula for male orgasm—something that’s never been achieved. The racy research—analyzing both psychological and biological aspects of fucking—was recently completed at England’s University of Sussex (emphasis on sex).

Researchers drew on decades worth of data on psychological and physiological arousal in which consenting participants performed sexual acts while a special type of MRI scanner observed changes in their neural patterns. “Our findings shed light on a socially taboo subject, which we believe could have useful applications for the clinical treatment of sexual dysfunction, as well as for providing the general public with a tested formula for improving their sex life,” said the study’s co-author. “A key finding is that too much psychological arousal early in the process can inhibit the chance of reaching climax,” he said, adding, “Simply put, our findings can be summarized as, ‘Don’t overthink it.’”

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