Grant Meyers works as a foley artist—the person who does ambient sound in films—for porn. He loves what he does, and is passionate about capturing erotic sounds to enhance the hot, x-rated scenes in adult films. He is also a parody, and a hilarious one at that. Here’s some of the highlights of the porn sound guy trying to replicate sex noises in daily life (check out the video below):
- Porn sound guy at the park, capturing the squeaking and grunting sounds of a hard-bodied dude doing pull-ups (think bed-springs bouncing and vigorous thrusting).
- Squeezing globs of aloe-vera into a tupperware—we’ll let you decide what that sounds like.
- Wiggling a giant banana back-and-forth into a bowl of jello (surprisingly life-like! Perhaps like a wet pussy getting finger-fucked).
- Slapping a giant slab of baby back ribs with the side of a hammer (it really does sound like skin slapping)
- Flicking a few slices of deli meat together (no joke; it sounds like a tongue fucking/licking a pussy)
- Quickly pulling and slapping a rubber balloon (again, sounds like skin slapping).
- Hitting the palm of his hand on the end of a plunger (seriously sounds like hard-core deep fucking).
To quote porn sound guy: “I like to think I’m the one doing the touching. The sound is the vibration, and that’s contact from one person to another.” True enough!
Even though this hilarious video’s a fake, all that slapping and grunting put us in the mood for the real thing. We have the best sex-sounds right here!