Vegas is giving Jimmy Garoppolo the full Sin City experience. The new Raiders quarterback, who signed a three-year, $67.5 million deal to join the Raiders in NFL free agency, was offered “free sex for life” from the famous Vegas-area brothel Chicken Ranch. “I almost fainted when I heard Jimmy signed with the Raiders,” one of the sex workers at the Chicken Ranch said.
“He deserves free sex just for joining our team. But he gets free sex for life from us just because he’s such a legit babe!” Another sex worker at the Chicken Ranch pointed out that Super Bowl 2024 is at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas—and she wanted to help him bring the Raiders to the big game by whatever means necessary. “Jimmy brought the Niners to the Super Bowl and he could do the same for the Raiders,” she said. “The next Big Game is in Vegas, so I’m going to go all the way to inspire Jimmy to go all the way!”
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