When it comes to cracking jokes about jerking off, you just have to give a hand (see what we did there?) to these witty people writing hilarious tweets about masturbating. As one Twitter user says, masturbation is really just a “VERY poorly attended orgy.” Here are 9 hilarious tweets about masturbating.
- “Good term for masturbation I just thought of – Jackin’ the peen stalk”
Gotta climb to the top of the peen stalk and wrestle the one-eyed ogre to get that golden goose! - “My caught masturbating face is exactly the same as my caught jamming out to NSYNC face because they’re simultaneous.”
We don’t know, the latter might be more embarrassing… - “Who called it “Masturbation tips for women” rather than ‘Dildos and Dildon’ts’.”
It’s funny cause it’s true! - “If there’s a sock on my doorknob it means I’m having sex with the other one.”
Make sure you knock before entering! - “If these walls could talk I’d almost certainly masturbate less.”
Good thing they can’t—no reason to stop jerkin’ it! - “Do guys have a go to masturbation sock like I do with shoesHAHAHA I’M KIDDING! I would never! I’m a lady.
It’s an adorable strappy sandal.”
Talk about a foot fetish! - “The first rule of masturbation club is to come alone.#
NationalMasturbationDay”
The second rule of masturbation club: You do not talk about masturbation club—unless you’re cracking jokes about it on Twitter! - “Is ‘toot my own horn’ a euphemism for masturbating yet?”
It is now! - “My friends gave me a bunch of sex toys for my birthday as a ‘joke.’ I can’t stop laughing*
*masturbating”
The gift that keeps on giving, er, receiving?
Looking to find some good lovin’ without the aid of a sock? We don’t mean to toot our own horn, but a NiteFlirt party is SO much better than a party of one!
Check out more hilarious tweets about masturbating here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/
@NiteFlirt